Train, not Training


In which I get annoyed, and am forced to run

Today I was working in our new shop in the Lowry Centre, in Salford Quays, just outside Manchester. I normally work in Bradford so it was like a little holiday for me.

I got up early, got the train (an hour) followed by a tram, then another tram, then a quick ten minute walk and arrived with minutes to spare.

So far, so good.

After I finished work I did the same journey, but in reverse. A quick ten minute walk followed by a tram, then another tram, then… Hang on… I can’t see my train on the board! It was 18:15 and my train left at 18:21!

I approached a station guard and asked where the train left from.
“Bradford?” I said.
“Bradford?” he said.
“Bradford” I said.
“platform six” he said.
“platform six?” I said
“platform six” he said.

The other side of the station.

I jogged over, plenty of time, and reached platform six. I looked at the board and it didn’t say Bradford, or any town that i could locate on a map. I approached another guard.

“Is this where I get the Bradford train?” I said.
“Bradford train?” he said.
“Bradford train!” I said.
“platform five.” he said
“platform five?!” I said
“platform five.” he said.

18:19. I ran to platform five, no train. I went up to a bloke and said:
“Is this the right platform for the Bradford train?”
“No”
“Oh.”

18:20. Legged it back to the barriers and saw two more platforms. I approached yet another guard and said “is this where the Bradford train goes from?”
“Yes.” he said! “You just missed it.”

Gutted. “What time’s the next one?” I asked. He told me they were once every hour after six. I asked if there was one at ten to, I was sure there was, and he said “No, after six they’re once an hour, at twenty past.”

Only one thing for it. Station pub. Bought a beer. Sat down and started messing on my phone to make it look like I had friends. The last app I’d been on came up, the National Rail train finder. Decided to double check the times and it came up with 18:48. Even though the guard said 19:20.

I’d like to say the app was wrong and he knew what he was on about, but obviously didn’t because I’m currently sat on the train that left for Bradford at 18:48.

Asked three members of staff a question, all three got it wrong. After posting this, I’m going to copy and paste into an email and send them it. Not this bit though, because I want to put their reply up too. Probably reply to the wrong person.