Long Bike Ride!

In Which I Ride, Get Wet, Ride, Get Wet And See Roadkill

Last week I worked six days at work, a total of 58 hours, and so on my one day off I relaxed in front of the tv and did bugger all.

I wish.

What actually happened was that last week I worked six days at work, a total of 58 hours, and so on my one day off went out for a bit of a cycle with (4 x) Ironman Tony.

I knew it was gonna be a fair way so on the morning of the ride I had some coffee and porridge (caramel flavour.) Tony got to mine about 9am and he gave my bike the once over and inflated my tires to the right… inflatage… and then, watches and Strava activated, we were off.

We first rode down into Shipley and through to Saltaire, heading towards Skipton then Settle. (We only goto places beginning with ‘S’, it seems…)

After we’d riden through Keighley (Skeighley?) it started to rain. Bad day to wear shorts and short base layers, but it was sunny when I got dressed so it’s not my fault really.

There was another cyclist who Tony chatted to for a bit (I could hear the distances of Ironman disciplines being mention I’m sure) and he (the other cyclist) pulled out a waterproof jacket and just sort of let it flap behind him for a while, getting an arm of it VERY close to his back wheel. I backed off a bit incase it got caught up, but he turned off to Halifax as we carried forwards.

Got to Skipton easy enough, averaging 14.5 mph, and we stopped for an energy gel and a Tracker bar. Still raining. Setting off again a few minutes later we followed the signs for Settle, and after a mile or so the rain stopped.


Settles a small market town in North Yorkshire (near the brilliantly named village of Giggleswick) and was where we’d be making our halfway stop before coming back.

Halfway between Skipton and Settle Tony pulled over to the side of the road and asked if I needed another energy gel. I said no (foolishly) and away we went. It’s pretty much small villages and country roads all the way after Skipton and quite a lot of hills, mostly small but some a bit of a challenge. (For me.)

About four miles before we got to Settle my body went ‘shame you didn’t have that other energy gel, you wazzock’ and decided it didn’t want to pedal much anymore. On the hills I dropped to around 6mph and my brain wasn’t being much use either.

There’s a nice uphill climb from the main road into Settle which was just what I needed, but then a few minutes later we arrived at the cafe, our halfway point and lunch time.


I had a bacon and sausage sandwich and a cherry bake thingy and a can of full fat coke, which was so nice I went and got another can of full fat coke. We sat outside in the sun (sunny in Settle) and then after about 25-30mins pit stop it was time to head back home.


Fully fed and watered, we did the same route but in reverse. Riding back felt a hell of a lot easier, and I was in a better mood too now that I’d eaten.

Time went quickly, and we were back in Skipton after some miles and so we had a small break for an energy gel and a Tracker bar. I got another coke. As it’s Skipton, it started raining again so we set off back towards Keighley where I had another energy gel and could feel the finish line approaching.

On pretty much the second to last climb before home it started to rain. Proper rain. Proper full on torrential rain that flooded the roads and made rivers at the sides. Pushed through it though, back through Saltaire, Shipley and then the last mile climb. Top of my road, near my house, outside my house, done.


Before this ride my longest ever was 40 miles. This one was 35 miles.


70 miles in total.

Here’s the proof:


I was tired, but not as tired as I thought I’d be. For the rest of the day I had junk food, beer, and watched The Hobbit Desolation of Smaug (very good!)

My legs were a bit sore the next day, but nothing major. Just my thighs ached a bit. Must be getting better at this recovery stuff!

Now I know what you’re thinking and I know why you’ve read this til the end, you want to hear about the roadkill. Lucky for you, I’ve made it into pie chart form for ease of understanding:



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Just A Little Info

In Which I Take It To The Next Level

Just a quick update today because I have a long blog update coming in the next few days, which will be a prequel to this sequel or a threequel or just another one I guess..?

Whatever, me. Anyway! Today I went to Eccleshill swimming pool to do a bit of swimming. (Obviously.)

I’m not the best swimmer in the world (if I was I wouldn’t be a security guard, I’d be a swimmer full time showing off my swimmers) so needed to time myself for 400 metres.

Whys that? You ask.

And I’ll tell you if you let me get a word in!

Its because I’ve entered my first ever triathlon! Skipton triathlon on the 31st August. (Next chuffing week!!)

The course is a 400m swim in a pool, a 20km (12mile) cycle, then a 5k (3.1mile) run. Its only the swim that’s slightly worrying me (only learnt to swim last year) but I’m sure I’ll be fine.

As a reward for… err… Wanting a reward, this is tonight’s entertainment. (You’re damn right that says 3D!)


In Other News
My official, lanzarote ironman hemingwayrun training top arrived, and I love it!





If you see me in this, come say hello! (Or throw stuff. You might be that kinda person.)

Let’s Have An Update!

In Which I Run Quite A Bit + Cycle Quite A Bit

Hang on, I’m thirsty. Need a drink.

Right I’ve got a drink. (Lemonade.)

Monday 21st: I ran the 3 mile route home that I normally run, uphill mainly. About halfway up the hill there was a woman in her pyjamas who started cheering me on and slapping her stomach with both hands. Made me run faster, I can tell you!

Tuesday 22nd: Went a longer way round after work (mainly to avoid stomach slappers house) and so ended up doing 4.4 miles.

Weds/Thurs/Friday – Nothing. There was a party in those days somewhere so what with drinking too much and having to recover, was lazy. Thus (thus!) I made up for it on:

Saturday 26th: I ran to work because I wasn’t starting til 11 which meant I had plenty of time for a shower when I arrived. 3.3mile, mainly downhill, meant an average pace of 8:42 per mile.

THEN! I ran home after work. But didn’t go my usual way, I ran into Shipley where I got on the canal (the canal path, wasn’t swimming) and ran to Apperley Bridge, and I then ran up Hemingway Road (named after me! Possibly not.) then ran back towards Shipley for a bit and the mile uphill towards home. Total distance – 10 miles. Total for day: 13.3miles.

Sunday 27th: I ran a recovery run home of 3.3miles which brought my weekly mileage to 27.3 miles! Nice!

Monday 28th: Day off today so decided to go out for a proper bike ride. Pumped my tires, filled my water bottle with energy drink and taped an energy gel to the bike frame. From home I cycled up to five lane ends roundabout and then went down towards Bradford town centre. My fastest ever speed on a bike is 38.7mph so did my best to beat that, but due to traffic the speedometer only got to 39mph. However, when I got home I checked my Strava app and it registered 40.3MPH! I actually broke the chuffing speed limit!!

I navigated through town, then got onto Thornton Rd which is a steady, slight uphill for 2 miles and then the next few miles have some climbing.

One long drag of just over 8 miles of uphill

One long drag of just over 8 miles of uphill

Getting to the end of the road I turned right, heading towards Keighley. Having never gone this way before I was pretty much having a guess as I kept forgetting to look at road signs. A long stretch of road with its ups and downs, getting up to 36mph in a 30 zone (rebel) and before long I was in Keighley town centre where I’d decided I’d treat myself to my Mixed Berry Energy Gel Warm Jam Tasting Goodness. Oh goodness, it’d fallen off. Didn’t even realise. If you’re even in Keighley and you find an energy gel, keep it, it’s yours now.

I was a bit chuffing put out, but there wasn’t anything I could do so just carried on. A shame though, that from Keighley to home is mainly uphill and my energy was getting low. I got to Shipley before long and then began the two miles uphill to my house. It was tough, but didn’t stop or get off once. Finally, the last turn. Little down hill, then home.


28.4 miles done in 2:13, averaged just under 13mph with 1’740ft of uphillness. Not too shabby!

So now its 10 weeks until the Yorkshire Marathon in York, (which means no beer until after that) followed by a week off (LOADS of beer!) and then just 30 short weeks until Ironman Lanzarote 2015. Times going by waaaayyyy too quickly!!

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Leeds 10k Recap – 20th July 2014

In Which I Get All Sweaty

Once upon a time (as all the good stories go) there was a boy. Handsome, dedicated and headstrong. I hated him, so decided to write about me instead. 

I’m sure you’ve been looking for Ironman training updates but alas, a combination of illness and injury put a damper on all that jazz for a bit. A couple weeks ago I stepped funny at work and twisted my ankle a bit, which caused my knee to twinge, which made me miss out a full week of training. (I still walk about 10-12 miles a day at work though, but at a slow pace.)

The following week I got a bit of flu. Not enough to phone in sick, but enough that it hurt a bit to breathe and sneeze and cough. Another week missed.

That brings us to last week, where I found myself lining up for the Leeds 10km run in 25 degree heat with my mate Rob. It’d been almost 2 weeks since I last ran, and didn’t have much confidence in my legs, figuring they’d be about as much use as a chuffing baby giraffes. 

Bloody hell it was warm.

I did my best to conserve the water I’d brought along as I hadn’t remembered to check where or how many water stations were along the course. (Rookie mistake Hemmy!)

Feel free to tag yourself

Feel free to tag yourself

The race started at 09:30 but due to 10’000 other runners (well, 9’998 if you don’t count me and Rob) we didn’t cross the start line until about 09:45. Hot.

It was a slow start due to the amount of runners, but I didn’t fancy pushing myself in the heat and with the lack of training so it suited me well. We were keeping a decent pace of around 8:30min/mile and were chatting quite happily. Don’t really get much time to chat so it was a good excuse. A little into the race I saw another friend, Neil, who was running the race for charity but didn’t look too chuffed about it. 

A water station arrived around 2miles ish (I mean we got to it, it didn’t just turn up along side us) and the water was a god send. Rob lost his energy gels somewhere around here, so if you found some, keep them.

5km went by easily enough and we were still keeping a pace of 8:45min/mile which wasn’t too bad considering the crowd and heat, but my word was I sweating! 

Turn around arrived and on the way back I saw Neil again so gave him a shout of encouragement, and saw a girl I went to school with (Kirsty?) so waved to her too. 2nd water station, and grabbed a bottle of lovely refreshing cold  warmish water. It was water though, so wasn’t gonna complain! At around 8km I saw my other mate Duffy up in front so we caught up with him and had a bit of a chat (because he’s moving back from Newcastle next week) and he said he’d catch up with us at the end, so we carried on. A little bit further on there were four lasses dressed as cheer leaders cheering at the side if the road so I did the grown up thing and squirted my water at them. 3 laughed, one looked pissed.

The heat was obviously a little too hot as we went by a couple of runners receiving medical attention on the ground at the side of the road. I didn’t hear anything about them after the race, so hope they’re both ok and recovered well.

Leeds has a nice slight uphill right before the downhill that leads (leeds) towards the end which is just what you want, but we carried on running and got towards the finishing part. Rob said we should go across holding hands (in the air), so thats what we did and both finished in exactly the same time of 57:12. Happy enough considering the conditions!

Like REAL men

Like REAL men

New medal, new tshirt and a kit-kat chunky were my reward, along with a LOT of sweat.

After a shower and a change of clothes (into my new tshirt, naitch) we all went over to Bolton to watch Rob (other Rob, Ironman Rob) race the Ironman UK triathlon. He finished in a VERY impressive 11hours 38mins. Chuffing machine! 


So after my 10km on sunday I’ve trained both monday and tuesday, back into the swing (run) of things. I’m toying with the idea of concentrating on marathon training because York Marathon is in 12 short weeks, and having missed a few weeks of Ironman training, it’d make sense. I’ll still chuck in a long ride once a week though. We’ll see what happens!

In Other News

I know I’m rubbish at replying to comments, but I read them all and love the messages of support. Eventually, I’ll reply to each and everyone. Not ignoring them. Thanks!

Ironman Training Week 3 (of 52…)

In Which I Ride LOADS

Today, I began week 3 of ironman lanzarote training with a run home. The training plan I’m following called for a 45 min run, which took me 47 minutes. Quite warm.

I rode the normal way to work then had a shower. (After I got off the bike.) After work I rode for 45 mins aiming for 100+ rpm but as I’m too lazy to set up my bike gizmo rpm track thing, I was trying to count in my head. Think I did it. Total of 12 mile for the day.

I was working 6-6 today but swapped my shift to work 10-9 (see? All going on over here!) this meant I could get my run out of the way in the morning, so I ran to work. Totally misjudged the distance though as I went a different way round, and so ended up looping quite a bit through the nice (ahem!) areas of Bradford. 10km done (including lots of hills) in just over an hour.

Rest day! Hooray! Also, it was Sarah’s granddad birthday. (Norman, who did his first ever triathlon last year at age 83. Read about it here ) We went up to his house on the evening and he told me that I could borrow his road bike that he’d bought the year before, so that I could get some proper practice in. Very nice of him! (4x) Ironman Tony said we’d go for a ride on Sunday.

Today was another hour run, so did the 10km circuit around home which takes in plenty of hills (and so plenty of downhills.)


Later on in the day I had my first ever go on a road bike. Chuffing hell was I nervous! Only did 2 miles, due to having tired legs, but I got up to 32mph!

Brick day. Rode to work on the road bike, too it steady due to nerves. After work I rode 30 mins home then went out straight away for a mile run. (This was after a 12 hour shift..!)

As promised, Ironman Tony picked me up at 08:10 ready to get out for a proper go on Normans road bike. Drove down to shipley where we got ready to set off in the rain. Tonys brother Peter was gonna come, but turns out he’s scared of the rain. Think he might be from Oz. While we were getting ready, Nigel (another brother) pulled up to say hello. He was on his way north to take part in the great north swim in the Lake District (2 mile swim.)

Then, we were off. Pouring down so were soaked within the first mile. I thought we’d be the only idiots riding in this weather, but no, there were loads out on the roads.

I followed Ironman Tony and kept his pace through Saltaire, Cottingly and around Bingley. There were a lot of ups and downs (as the road went up and down) and eventually we reached Skipton where we stopped for a coffee. (Tony had tea.)


We’d covered 15miles in little over an hour. That’s the fastest if ever gone!

Drinks drunk (drank?) we were off again and the rain stopped. More hills on the next part of the ride, but more countryside which was nice. Saw a sheep that reminded me of our cat, which isn’t something you see everyday. Unless you have a sheep and a cat and the sheep looks like your cat.


Skirted around North Yorkshire to Bolton Abbey, saw a big horse show then a big horse shit, then joined the main rode again and headed towards… I want to say Burnley in Wharfdale? Not sure. We stopped for a pit stop though, and I took this pic.


Right, last bit of the ride. Went up a long, steady upwards hill towards Guiesley and then turned down the big hill towards Shipley (got to 35mph.) Saw Tonys car, but asked if we could ride a little bit further to get my tomtom watch ticking over to the next number. Finally, done.

Before today my longest ever ride was 20 miles. Today we did 40 miles in just under 3hours. Chuffed!

Ironman Training Week 3
Swam: 0 miles
Cycled: 64.17 miles
Ran: 18 miles
Total time: 7h 54m 15s

In Other News


Ironman Training Week 2 (of 52…)

In Which I Keep At It
Week two done with already! Where’s the time going? 1/26th of the way finished!

Cycled to work, then cycled further home. Uneventful.

I didn’t start work until 10 so used the late start as a chance to get an early run done. Set off from work at 8 (just as the rain started, the bugger) and ran into Shipley then into Bradford. (Which is where I work. Which is why I went there.)

It measured just under 6 miles so ran up and down in front of work for a bit to get my tracker to click onto 6 miles. (To the amusement of Sean who I work with, and who was standing out front on his break. Think his actual words were ‘you look like a bit of a twat.’)

Handily, in our staff room at work we have a shower. (Not IN the staff room, in a separate room next to the staff room.) Unhandily, there was no hot water. I mentioned it to the maintenance bloke later on (after a cold shower) and he told me about the pull cord right next to the shower that turns on the hot water. Didn’t feel stupid at all.

Rest Day! Yay!

Day off from work so went out for a steady 10km (6.2mile) run. I ran quite well and was happy to keep a 9min/mile pace and finished in 55:55! That even included hills!

Worked 12 hours (6 til 6) then ran 10km home. Quite tired and a bit achy, but managed to do it in 01:02:00. It’s only just over a year ago that that was my PB, so to be able to do it after 12 hours on my feet and having done a 10k the day before isn’t too bad!

Used today for brick day. (Cycle followed straight away by a run.) Worked 12 hours again (what the hell, work?!) so really didn’t fancy the run bit. (Or the bike bit either.) Rode 6 miles then ran just under 2. Tiredly.

Day off again, and the training plan called for 1 1/2 hours on the bike. Rode down to the canal then decided to aim towards Leeds for 40mins, turn around and ride back. (Knowing that I’d be slower on the way back as last 2 miles are uphill.)

It was a nice sunny afternoon so plenty of people on the canal path, most of which were too chuffing ignorant to move out of the way. When I started riding through the puddles they moved though!


After I reached 40 mins I stopped for a drink of my water. Swallowed it wrong so just as a family rode by I choked a bit and spat water everywhere, felt a bit daft so started riding home.

Bit further along was a group of lads with a puncture who looked like they had given up so I stopped and asked if they were ok. They told me the inner tube was shredded so I did the nice thing and gave them my spare inner tube. Wasn’t til I started riding again that I realised I was about 8 miles from home with no spare inner tube so decided to be more careful around the stones. Got home safe!

Ironman Training Week 2
Swam: 0 miles
Cycled: 33 miles
Ran: 20 miles
Total time: 6h 07m 43s


Ironman Training Week 1 (of 52…)

In Which I Proper Start My Training
After a lovely week in lanzarote, and a lovely few days off afterwards, I got my training plan for Ironman Lanzarote 2015 organised. And when I say ‘my training plan’, I mean I copied one from a book.


That book.

In the book, as well as telling you all about time management, strength training, mental training and healthy eating, it gives you three different training plans depending on whether you want to finish strong, finish good, or just finish. Each plan is split into three 10 week schedules, base, build and peak.

All the plans are based on time, not distance, so it’s easy to plan around work.

I have exactly 52 weeks until Ironman Lanzarote, and as it happens 21 weeks until York Marathon.

That means I can follow the toughest plan for the 10 week base, then 10 week build stages, have a week taper for Yorkshire Marathon followed by a week recovery, then follow a full 30 week plan.

If I’ve coped ok with the tougher training schedule I’ll start that again from the beginning, but if I found it tough I’ll drop down to the intermediate program.

I’ve finished the first week though, and so far so good!


My first week was set as follows (with what I actually did in brackets):

Monday – 30min run. (34min)
Tuesday – 1hr bike. (1h 4min)
Wednesday – 30min bike. (19min to work + 30min home)
Thursday – 30min run. (32min)
Friday – Rest (Rested)
Saturday – 30min bike, 15min run (17min ride to work, 27min ride home then 15min run)
Sunday – 45min run (45min run)

Total distance of 40 miles (13 run, 27 cycled.)

But! I hear you cry, But! What about swimming?!

Ah swimming! Not started training that yet, next week should be starting proper triathlon swimming lessons. So there!

Of course it’s only fair that I direct you to where you can buy your very own copy of Be Iron Fit by Don Fink and that’s here: Be Iron Fit

In Other News
Started healthy eating (haven’t had any alcohol in over a week, cut down on bread and so far lost 3lbs in my first week!) Noticed this on Ainsley Harriott couscous.


Calm down Ainsley mate.